It's Been Awhile

I know its been awhile since I last wrote. Work, my daughter, maintaining the house. Everything kind of gets in the way. Maybe just another example of how out of place I am as a grandma. I mean, seriously, most grandmothers are sure to make time to talk about their precious ones.

And I do talk about mon petite chou ( I found out when I earlier wrote Ma petite chou I was incorrect) I love her more than I can say. Every day she's in my thoughts & I wish I could see her. Every morning I make sure to splash myself in green tea parfume from france just in case I see her. I'm trying to make sure every time I see her I smell the same, kind of conditioning her.

Anyway since I last posted my son called & asked me to babysit. I was so happy! My exhubby rushed over to see our precious little baby. He hasn't seen her since the day she was born. He was so happy to hold her & she was so comfy in his arms. He's going to be a wonderful grandfather, Pops. One of my closest friends, Peg, came over & sat w/us just watching that special bundle. To her she's family. I'm so blessed to have such great friends.

It was a great evening. I was happy to just hold her & give her a bottle. As much as I loved being a mother & holding my babies this is so different. It's all about the pleasure now, she's not my responsibiliy just mine to love & spoil & I love that.

But even as I hold her & watch her sleeping it's hard to believe she's my GRANDDAUGHTER! My best friends are just having babies. It was difficult going through life hearing 'You have a child!'. I never thought my children would do the same thing.

And then take into account that the week before I baby sat for mon petite chou, my granddaughter, I went w/a group of friends to see Sweet Charity staring Molly Ringwald. It was really great. That has always been one of my favorites. My freshman year in highschool that play was the first one our drama class put on. And Molly was great!

I'm so happy that she's found a spot on broadway. As a teenager she was one of us. The average girl who went through everything we did but always ended up w/the great life. After the show I decided I wanted to go tell her how happy I was for her. I told the others w/me we should follow the two cast members in the lobby back to the dressing rooms.

Quickly, quickly, I insisted rushing behind the disappearing backs. We got all the way to the orchestra pit but by then the cast members were gone. I had thought there would be a door to the dressing rooms but apparently you had to go back stage. I hesitated at the edge of the stage. Looking behind me I saw a group of, I hate to say middleage people but sadly it seems acurate, watching me.

One of the girls even said, I'll follow you if you go. But at that moment I realized I didn't have it in me to do it. I thought poor Molly probably had lots of nutty fans wanting to wish her well. Plus I worried about getting arrested. As we walked away some people were saying how impressive it was I got this particular group to follow me.

As we left the theatre I thought about how much of a groupie I had just acted like. I enjoyed it & I would have enjoyed it even more if I'd had the spine to pull back the stage curtain, go find Molly Ringwald & tell her how much she meant to me & my generation. And then I thought, again, how can I be a grandma when I feel like such a juvenile?